sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
