I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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