Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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