I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
