I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
