After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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