idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
