So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
