yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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