I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize