When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
