New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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