And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
