I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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