so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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