Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
