is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
