I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
