I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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