Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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