she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize