if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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