People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
