Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
