Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize