Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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