a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
