What a fucking waste of an outfit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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