oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize