I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
