would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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