im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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