I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
