I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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