just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
