Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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