I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
