You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
