He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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