im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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