i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
