I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
