Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
