where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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