God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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