Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS