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HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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