I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.