Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.

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(205): HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine. http://tfl.nu/o3j9

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(623): View more from Arizona

Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.

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(623): Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough. http://tfl.nu/yln2

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(912): View more from Georgia

you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

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(912): you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right? http://tfl.nu/mqjb

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(416): View more from Toronto

He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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(416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l

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(816): View more from Missouri

She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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(816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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(202): I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand http://tfl.nu/1ole

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(216): View more from Ohio

For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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(216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc

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(702): View more from Nevada

You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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(702): You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy http://tfl.nu/41n6

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(727): View more from Florida

you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

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(727): you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/icr3

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.

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(610): i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly. http://tfl.nu/8yco

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(416): View more from Toronto

You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.

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(416): You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams. http://tfl.nu/dmv7

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(480): View more from Arizona

He was uncircumcised

(480): View more from Arizona

It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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(480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went

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(704): he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went http://tfl.nu/pwu0

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(425): View more from Washington

The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other

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(425): The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other http://tfl.nu/h7kl

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(248): View more from Michigan

Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

(248): View more from Michigan

What a great time to reflect on life

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(248): Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up (248): What a great time to reflect on life http://tfl.nu/lxxa

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