You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
