I'm eating all of the evidence.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Two words: blizzard sex
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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