Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Such a big mess for such a small penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
