Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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