I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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