dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
