what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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