Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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