"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize