Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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